Shrapnyl
by Ultimate Hybrid
Summary: Sure she's crazy, but Sylvia Kinney ain't stupid. After arriving in the 21st century, she goes straight to the thing that'll give her the biggest advantage in this world: Weapon X. This can't be good...Rated T for violence and excessive use of duct-tape.
1. Operation: DITFW

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Marvel's and Sylvia is mine! Don't try to steal her or else! By the way, I have no idea what the 'or else' part means, so stick in a particularly terrifying threat!**

**A/N: This story is told in first person, so don't be annoyed if I don't give enough details to satisfy your fanfic craving needs! I have trouble with descriptions because i tend to rush the story. Anywho, enough of my blathering and on to the story! Enjoy!**

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Shrapnyl

Chapter 1

Operation: Do It The Fun Way

I glanced at the guard I had recently duct-taped to the wall and grinned.

"Just be glad you're alive! Your buddies weren't so lucky," I smiled to the shivering guard and stepped over a dead body. The guard swallowed and the fear that came off of him was scented so strongly, I was afraid my nostrils would start burning up if I breathed it in any longer.

In case you didn't know (which you probably didn't, considering this is my first appearance in a fanfic), my name is Kinney. Sylvia Kinney. Daughter of Laura Kinney and Wade Wilson. I'm 17. My hair is brown, like what my father's used to be. I have hazel/green eyes (they're a mixture between the two). I'm from the Very Dark Future (and yes, it is VERY dark), so in this time period no one knows I exist. So don't tell anyone, cause it's a secret! Or else Cable will come and find me and drag me back to the future (the DARK future! Dun, dun, daaa! Or was it Bishop who was going to drag me...? I always get the two of them mixed up.) I enjoy walking off into the sunset…Oh never mind. I'll just get back to my mission now…Even though I have no idea what it is…Oh well, guess I'll find out when I get there!

I stepped over a few more dead bodies and surveyed the carnage I had caused… Let's see here… One, two… twenty seven dead guards. Eh, not my best score but I'll worry about that later. Right now it's time to see a man about…well I don't know what it's about, but it certainly must be important in order for me to drag my butt all the way to the Colorado Rockies. How did I get here? After I had landed in this time, my super cool teleporting/time traveling belt that I wore around my waist stopped working as a time traveling machine and lost its 'dual functionality' that made it so snazzy. I guess I teleported here… You know what? I don't make sense! Don't listen to me and my rambling! Unless of course you really want to, so in that case…

I moseyed along down the corridor, carefully avoiding phrases like 'It's quiet...too quiet' and 'Wow, this place is deserted' so as not to draw attention to myself. I wonder what my parents are up to in this time… probably killing things.

So, what should we do, now that these guards are taken care of?

"I think I should find the control room, and get whatever I came here for," I stated out loud.

There was a commotion down the corridor and some mindless guard shouted, "I think the intruder is in sector twelve!"

Stupid guards. Of course I'm in sector twelve! I'm the only intruder here…as far as I know. After three hours of studying the blueprints to this old (haha, it's funny cause I'm from the future; everything here is old to me!) Hydra base, I think I would know what sector I'm in, and I believe I'm in sector twelve. Unless I was wrong, but what are the chances of that happening?

The guards rushed towards my position and I leaned against the wall, lying in wait for them. I'll get where I'm going eventually, it'll just take a little longer cause I'm gonna have to gut these guards.

The guards hustled down the hall and froze when they saw me staring at them.

"Hi boys. Wanna play 'gut the Hydra agent'? I know I do! It sure sounds like fun…for me anyways." My cool bone claws slid out of their places between my index finger and middle finger and my ring finger and pinky and one from my wrist. Six pointy claws, three on each hand, ready for gutting baddies. The guards looked me up and down and started to laugh.

"This is the intruder? It's just a little girl!" said one of the guards in a Russian accent.

I smiled at him. "Ooh, wrong answer. Would you rather take another guess, or begin a fight scene?" I asked him sweetly, crossing my arms across my chest.

"How about this, little girl, you go back to your mommy and daddy, and we won't hurt you," said a different guard in a Scandinavian accent. I swear, he sounded just like a Viking! No, not the football team from Minnesota. Like the guys with _actual_ horned helmets and ships with the shields of their fallen foes lined up on the side of the deck; those kind.

"Can't. My parents are in the future, the very dark future! Oops, I just gave the secret away. Dang." I sighed and stood up straight, ready for the inevitable fight scene that would come. The guards looked confused at my response, but shrugged it off when one of them stepped forward. I think it was the Russian one.

"One more chance, little girl, for you to leave unharmed," said the Russian guard. Yep, I was right.

"Fight scene it is, then," I said, right before I leaped in front of the Scandinavian guard.

"Hi there, hope you don't mind dying. I'm sure it's a lovely experience," I said to him and then stabbed him in the chest, around where his heart would be. My bright white bone claws came away clean, but his cut started gushing out blood. He gazed at me in shock and clutched his wound as he fell to the floor. I jumped backwards as the Russian guard fired a round at me. I landed behind him, leaned down and swept my feet in a circle, knocked him to the ground, and sat on his chest.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you that it's impolite to shoot at people?" I asked him, pulling out my duct-tape from one of my many pockets. I have a thing for pockets; I must get it from my dad. Another thing I got from my dad would be my 'mouth' and my 'different' sense of humor.

The guard shook his head.

"Wrong answer." I smiled at him and began to tape him to the floor while his comrades looked on in shock. I'm sure I must look pretty intimidating to them; a 17 year-old girl, wearing black skinny jeans, a red T-shirt, my cool teleporting/time traveling belt (now without the time traveling function!), and some black Converse. Oh yes, I'm the image of fear to these brave Hydra soldiers. Yeah, right.

After I had finished taping the Russian to the floor, I got up and looked around for his buddies. There were none to be found. They are sooo brave, they wanted to play hide and seek with me. Too bad I prefer 'Marco, Polo'.

"Maaarrrrcccooo!!" I called out down the hall. There was no response. "You're supposed to say 'Polo'!" I called out again. My claws slid back into their place inside my arm. I looked at the Russian with my eyes narrowed. "Time to play 'Interrogate the Russian Hydra Agent until I Get Some Answers'!"

The Russian blinked at me. "I don't think I like that game," he said simply.

"Don't knock it till you've tried it!" I told him.

His Adam's apple went up and down as he swallowed fearfully. A perfect example of the very brave soldiers they train here at a Hydra base. I leaned down and ripped some of the strips of duct-tape holding him down and pulled him up off the floor. He struggled as I wrapped more tape around him, creating a snug and cozy duct-tape cocoon. I threw him over my shoulder and walked down the hall with purpose in my stride.

I rounded a corner and found another empty hallway with five doorways to choose between, two on the left and three on the right. Let's see here…

"Eeny, meeny, minie, moe. Catch a tiger by the toe. If it hollers, let it go. My mother told me to pick the very best one, and you are it." I counted aloud and my finger landed on the first door on the right-hand side.

"Okay everybody. Let's see what's behind door number 1!" I said as I pushed the green button on the keypad next to the door. It slid open, revealing a room full of Hydra agents drinking coffee.

"It's a room full of brave Hydra agents on their break! What a wonderful prize!" I said as I threw the Russian agent onto the table. The brave Hydra agents looked up in surprise and hastily tried to draw their guns. I stopped them by simply jumping on the table, sliding my claws out of their place, and running around, slicing everyone's hands off as I went.

"Now, now. We wouldn't want you accidentally shooting somebody, now would we? Talk about impolite," I said to the bewildered guards.

"What do you want from us?" one of the guards asked fearfully.

"Finally! Someone polite enough to ask what I want! And he's not foreign!" I exclaimed. "I'll take a number 5, hold the mayo." The guards all around the table looked at me like I was crazy. "Just kidding. Take me to your leader," I said in a serious tone that I hardly ever use. When I do use it, it's usually to intimidate guards. I think it worked.

"That's all? You don't want any money, guns, ammo, or nothin?" asked a different guard. He wasn't foreign, either. Jeez these guys are sharp. They catch the stuff I leave out!

"Oh, yeah. I almost forgot about those. Hand over all your potentially dangerous items, would ya, along with your lunch money," I said. The guards looked up at me and held out their stubs.

"How are we supposed to 'hand' over our items? You cut off our hands," said one of the guards in an Irish accent.

"Ooh, you're a bright one, aren't ya? Guess we'll have to do this the fun way," I said as I jumped off the table and kicked one of the occupied chairs down. I grabbed the ruffled guard and pushed him up against the wall, standard mugging position, and said, "See? Fun! Now stand still while I go pirate on ya and take all your potentially dangerous items and lunch money," I commanded.

"Or what?" asked one of the guards still sitting at the table. Do they not even realize that I left the door open? Maybe they aren't that bright after all.

"Or I'll tell your boss that you got beaten by a girl," I said simply, "cause you know I'll find her…or him, eventually."

The guard grew quiet and sat in silence.

"Anyone else have a question for me? Anyone? Yes, you there in the corner," I said, pointing to the man in the corner who had his hand—er, I mean stub, up.

"Yes, what I want to know is why haven't you killed us yet?"

"I'm sorry, all questions must be in the form of an answer," I stated.

"Why haven't you killed us yet."

"Now all you did was change the end punctuation! Pitiful, absolutely pitiful." I shook my head slowly and began to loot the guy I had pushed up against the wall. Let's see here… five clips of bullets, a few guns, two strips of Orbit gum, and some spare change. Not bad, but not very good either.

"Why do you have Orbit gum? Did you see one of those commercials where the guy who chews the Orbit gum gets kissed by a pretty lady? Or does your boss pay you in gum?" I asked him. He didn't respond. He must be speechless from my vast knowledge of this time period's commercials. Hey, what can I say? I've been here for around a week and the only thing that was on TV were those gum commercials!

"Oh well. Duct-tape time!" I said and pulled out my roll of duct-tape again. I taped him to the wall very snugly, so he wouldn't get cold. "Who's next? Now, don't you all jump up at once."

One of the guards sighed and rose from his chair. "I'll go, since I'll have to eventually."

"That's the spirit! Step right up, sir, and get ready for your all expense paid trip to…the wall of this room! Enjoy!" I smiled and pushed him against the metal wall, taking everything out of his pockets, and taping him to the wall after I was done.

"For your braveness and participation in my little game, I shall gift to you…this duct-tape coat! This'll keep you nice and cozy during those cold winter months," I said, dropping the carefully crafted coat onto the floor in front of him.

"I think that's all I can carry, so I'm gonna skip looting all of you and just get to the taping part, okay?" I said as I moved on to the next guy.

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After I had finished taping all but one of the guards up on the wall, I turned to the only guard left standing and said, "Take me to your leader," and pointed a gun at his head. He swallowed nervously so I prodded him with the barrel of the gun. He swallowed again and led me out of the room and out into the hallway.

"Hold up there, buckaroo. I forgot to tape your stubs together so it looks like I'm forcing you to do this," I said to him. He sighed and held up his stubs. I taped them together gleefully. "About face! Forward march!" I commanded him in a military tone. He obliged and led me down the metal corridor.

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The green-clad Hydra guard stopped in front of a large metal door.

"The boss lady's in there." The guard nodded at the door and turned to walk away, but I grabbed him by the shoulder.

"Oh no you don't, you're comin' with me, see? Now open the door."

"But…I don't have hands."

"Oh yeah. Guess we're gonna have to do this the fun way too," I said as I reached into one of my pockets and pulled put some plastic explosives. I carefully planted them around the door and stepped down the hall. The guard did the same.

"Campfire ladies, sing this song, doo-dah, doo-dah! Campfire racetrack, five miles long, oh dee-doo-dah-day! I don't know the words to this song, na na na na naaa!" I sang and pressed the button on my detonator. The door exploded in a fantastical display of fire and metal, the force of which knocked me down and sent the guard flying backwards. He landed with a thud and I decided to leave him where he was. He looked so peaceful unconscious.

I walked into the room and was immediately greeted with several glowing red dots on my head.

"Ah, I see you enjoy using laser-pointers to target people," I stated, standing still in the doorway.

"Couldn't you just use the door?" asked a woman with green-ish, blue-ish hair and matching lipstick and a gray trench coat. I believe she's the boss lady my escort was referring to.

"I did! Didn't you see me?"

"I meant-"

"You meant what, salad-head?"

"Why did you blow up the door?"

"It's called making an entrance, look it up."

The green/blue haired lady sighed and said, "Not another one of _your_ kind. We just remodeled our base."

"Whadaya mean 'my kind'? This is the first time _I've _broken into your base, salad-head."

"I mean-"

"You're mean? Well that explains a lot, like your oddly colored head, for one. And why are you talking like a caveman? This isn't the prehistoric era- or is it? And why-"

"Would you stop interrupting me! I'm trying to give you a stern talking to, but you keep-"

"Hey! Look who's talkin! You keep interrupting me when I'm trying to answer some of your questions! It's almost like-"

"Aaarrrggghhh! Guards! Seize her!"

"Ooh, and all I wanted was a nice 'How are you today, Sylvia?' But no, you have to go and try to 'seize' me. Keyword being 'try'," I pointed out. Two guards rushed towards me, arms wide open, so I did what anybody would do if they were in my position…well maybe not everybody, but I'm sure some people would do what I did. I shouted, "Rochambeau!" and kicked one of them in the crotch, then I tackled the other one to the ground. The first guard passed out and the second one looked up at me fearfully. I smiled back at him and he looked even more scared than he was before.

"Idiots…" hissed the salad-head from her perch on her big chair.

"Ooh, now that was a low blow, calling them idiots like you did. It really hurts their self-esteem," I said, taking out my duct-tape and getting ready to tape my victim to the floor.

Salad-head sighed and said, "What do you want with me?"

"What do _I _want with _you_? Hmm, let's see here…I'll take a number 5, hold the mayo."

The boss lady looked at me like I was crazy so I said, "Just kidding. I'll need you to put me through the Weapon X program, if you don't mind."

"_That's _what you came here for?!"

"Apparently. I can't come up with another reason for me being here voluntarily, so yeah, let's go with that."

"And why do you want this? The process isn't exactly painless."

"Let's see…My mother went through it, my father went through it, my uncle went through it, my _other_ uncle worked for you guys, my _honorary _uncle worked for you guys…You could say it's a family tradition. Plus I wants me some shiny claws so I can cut people and it'll really hurt em!"

"You're probably crazy…but I'll do it. What do you want your dog tags to say?"

"How about…Shrapnyl, with a 'y'," I said. It seemed to fit me, in a way. I really enjoy blowing things up, there's a 'Y' thrown in there, and my mind may not be 'stable', but who the heck cares! Certainly not me, at any rate!

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**Well, there's chapter 1! Hope you enjoyed it! REVIEW if you know what's good for you! And reviewing is good for you, trust me! :)**


	2. Operation: Escape yo!

**Hey peoples! Chapter 2 is finally up! I had some problems with my computer for the longest time, so it wouldn't let me update--until NOW!**

**A/N: I don't own any Marvel characters that may seem familiar in this fic. I also don't own Soul; he is property of a friend who let me borrow him.**

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Chapter 2- Operation: Jailbreak yo!

"Ooh, cold," I said, stepping into the tank filled with cold blue water. I was currently wearing a red tank-top, and some black shorts that went halfway to my knee, because Salad-head was going to force me to go Greek and not wear anything. I am NOT that kind of girl! So I asked her if I could wear something short and she said 'Fine, but be quick about it,' so then I got dressed in this snazzy outfit. Then I picked up my dog tags from Salad-head, yelled at her for not spelling 'Shrapnyl' right, got new dog tags with correct spelling of name, and stepped into the cold tank of blue water and then I explained what happened, to you, and here we are! Back to the present…

"Just get in the tank," said Salad-head from behind a computer desk. I stepped into the tank and an oxygen mask flew down from the ceiling. I grabbed it and carefully put it on. Hah! I remind myself from one of those guys from Killzone. Gimme your lunch money or die!

"Okay! Jeez, someone's pushy today. Did you forget to take your chill pill again?" I said, submerging myself in the tank. God this is cold! "Why exactly did you have to make the water so cold, again?" I said through the mask. Hah, I sound like Darth Vader!

"It helps numb your body, so you don't feel as much pain." I heard clicking from the console and a bunch of needles lowered from the ceiling. Did I mention how much I hate needles? Yeah, claws from my wrists don't bother me, but little needles from the ceiling freak me out.

"'As much pain'? How much 'pain' will there be? Will there be a lot?" I'll admit, I started freaking out from

"I told you it wouldn't be painless, didn't I? Now stop asking questions," she said as the needles grew ever closer to my body.

"Hey look who's talking, Miss 'I-told-you-it-wouldn't-be-painless-didn't-I?' You are just full of contradictions," I chattered nervously through the oxygen mask.

"Do you ever shut up?" She walked over to the tank and put some little sticker-thingies on my arms and legs and head that hooked up to the computer. I think they were supposed to take my pulse and brain-waves, or something like that. I really have no idea, which is why I'm not the "current" leader of Hydra.

I smiled, but I don't think she saw it under the mask, which covered my mouth and nose, but left my eyes uncovered. "Not while I'm awake."

"Great. Well, we're almost ready to begin the procedure, just a few more little adjustments…and we're done. There." She patted the machine and a cord fell from where it was dangling on the back of the machine. "Oops, well almost done anyway." She bent over and picked up the cord and threw it back over the top of the machine.

"Are you sure this is safe?" I asked nervously.

"Safe? This old dinosaur? I'm surprised it would even start up by itself," she said as she walked back over to the computer console. Not a very reassuring thought.

"Um, do you recommend anything to take my mind off of the procedure? You know, ease the pressure?"

"Hmm? I got nothing. Oh wait. Close your eyes and it'll all be over when you open them again."

"Okay, let's see if this works." I closed my eyes and the process began…

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"Oh yeah! This was sooo worth the pain!" I sliced the training dummy in thirds with my claws and leaped over the Hydra agent with ease. He looked scared so I smiled at him to help reassure his thoughts. You haven't seen terrified, until you look at a Hydra agent sent to spar with me.

"Come on sir! Put up your dukes," I told the agent. He stood up shakily and held out his limp-noodle-like arms.

"Aw, come on now! Put a little enthusiasm in your stance! Like you're excited to be here, fighting me!" The agent got up into standard boxing position and put a little bounce in his step, but he still looked scared.

"Oh, now that isn't good. At least pretend you're excited to be here," I said to him, putting up my fists. He shifted his position and smiled nervously.

"Oh jeez! Now that is just awful! You, sir, need to take acting lessons, because seriously, you are a terrible actor." My head tilted to the side and I threw my hands up into the air, trying to emphasize my disappointment with my sparring partner.

"Shrapnyl," boomed Salad-head's voice from the intercom, "go easy on him. I only have so many soldiers left."

"Relax," I stretched out the syllables so it sounded like 'reee-laaaaaxx', "why would I intentionally go hard on him?"

"I don't know. You aren't exactly what we'd call 'predictable'," boomed her voice.

"Yes! I have succeeded in my goal, then. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to break out of your base, because that's what everybody else does when they come here! Either that or they work for you, and I don't like working for other people, which is exactly why I came here from the future! Darn, I blew the secret again!"

I leaped over the agent who was still standing in his boxing position and pressed a button on the little box thing next to the door. The door slid open easily and I ran out of the room, followed by a very flustered Hydra agent and some shouts from Salad-head.

"Get her, you fool! Lock down the base! Do NOT let her escape!"

Almost immediately, a red light started flashing in the hallway and an annoying beeping began. Suddenly, doors began closing slowly (because that's what doors do when a building gets locked down, they close slowly), and the red light flooded the corridor, along with that annoying, blaring, beeping that pounded on my eardrums.

"Tell me, why exactly do you want me? Like you said before, I'm unpredictable. I could go rogue on you at any moment. Why would you want someone like me on your team, with only brave Hydra agents to keep me in line?" I asked a video camera, right before I thumped it with my fist. My skin broke over my knuckles, revealing my newly metallic bones. Sure, the process was painful, but it was worth it! The lens gave way with a satisfying crunch. I smiled to myself. What could they possibly do to stop me? For I am Shrapnyl! And my fist is already healing! I love how fast my healing factor is! Faster than my father's, and I don't think I have cancer! Unless I do, and my natural healing factor is already fighting it, and I just never notice it…Hmm, well it's a mystery.

"You were created as a weapon, and you shall be used as one! The right way, unlike the others, who were just plain crazy, we'll keep you on collar and leash," boomed Salad-head. I really should learn her name, so I can stop calling her 'Salad-head', but it really annoys her. I'm gonna keep calling her Salad-head, just to bug her! Oh, and I should point out that Salad-head doesn't know who my parents are, so I intend to keep it that way. If you guys tell her, you're in big trouble!

"Sorry, I don't do collars, Salad-head. They clash with my outfit," I said to no-one in particular. The Hydra agent grunted as I turned around a hard corner. Wow, this guy's got some guts to be chasing after me. Maybe he's not your typical Hydra agent.

"Yeah, and maybe I was a daisy in a past life," I said out loud.

"Well it would explain your odd behavior," said a menacing voice from behind me. And no, it wasn't the Hydra agent, as much as I'd hoped it would be.

I spun around and leaped over the persistent Hydra agent. Maybe I should just get rid of him already…

"Oh, so you think daisies are odd? What have you got against daisies?" I asked the person with the menacing voice. He was taller than me, with a frown of sorts on his fair face, and a brainwashed look in his dark eyes. He looked about a few years older than me, with medium length black hair and bright hazel eyes. His costume consisted of black leather, black fabric, a black hood that hid his face, knee-high black combat boots, and more black. "Jeez man, where do you shop? 'Goths R Us'?"

"No, actually I got these at a thrift store," he smiled briefly before returning to his standard frown. He could really pass as a goth/emo kid if he put a neon colored streak in his hair. That's the only thing that's missing.

"Hmm…did it have the word 'Goth' in the title?" I asked.

"No," he answered quickly. The brainwashed look was still in his eye. I've got a bad feeling about this. Oh, and my kneecap is itching! Maybe I can sense danger that's to come and it makes my kneecap itch! I'll call it my Patella Sense! And guess what? My Patella Sense is tingling!

"I'll take that as a 'yes'. Now, I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got a base to escape from." With that I turned around only to find that my sparring partner/brave Hydra agent was blocking my path nervously, with his hands up in a boxing position.

"Do you want to get knocked unconscious? Because, seriously, your bad posture is asking for it," I said to the Hydra agent.

"Um, how about 'no'," he said as he stepped to the side. I smiled sweetly at him and walked over next to him.

"And how about 'I don't really care about your opinion so I'll do what I want, thank you very much'? Rochambeau!" I shouted right before I kicked him up the crotch. Now with three times the disabling power! He winced and fell to the floor in an unconscious heap.

"And _that's_ for you inability to act," I said right before I took off down the red lit hall. Almost predictably, the guy with the menacing voice, brainwashed look, and affinity for the color black followed me down the hall. "Oh so now _you're_ chasing me? Jeez, knock one man out for the count, and another weirdo takes his place!"

"So now _I'm _the weird one? You're the one kicking men in their crotches and taping them to the walls!" his brainwashed voice said from behind me.

"Ah, you're familiar with my work. It's true that I have done that before – and intend to keep doing it – but at least I'm not the one wearing black all the time and loyally following the orders of some lady with salad colored hair! I've come up with a super name for you: Black Lab!"

"Do not call me Black Lab," he said seriously, with a hint of anger in his voice.

"Why? Does that…bother you?" I teased.

"My name is Soul, not Black Lab! Do not call me Black Lab!" he practically yelled down the metallic hallway. His breathing grew shorter and more rapid as his temper rose and he charged after me. I smell someone annn-grrrrrryyy…and anger smells like spicy chicken wings, with extra sauce and no drink to cool you down.

"Oh, I'll be sure to do that, Black Lab, right after I surrender to you and your awesome pal over there." I jerked a thumb back at the unconscious Hydra agent while increasing my speed.

"Surrender to the might that is Soul, or I will have to take you down," he said in a serious tone that was meant to intimidate me. And guess what! It didn't work. I can't take him seriously in that getup.

"Oh yeah? You and what army?" I asked him, twirling around and stopping where I was, which, in turn, made him stop as well. I don't know how that worked, but it just did.

"This one," he said as he held his hand up in the air and flicked his wrist. Following that little gesture, some hidden doorways opened and the hallway flooded with green-clad, brave, Hydra soldiers.

"Oh yes, I forgot about the brainwashed army of Salad-head. I thought they were all on vacation in the Bahamas. Silly me! Now if you'll excuse me, I have somewhere to be," I said right before I marched in the opposite direction of Black Lab.

"Where on earth do you possibly have to be?" Black Lab asked with an amused tone.

"I don't know, the X-Mansion? Stark Tower? The Avengers' Mansion? The streets of Manhattan? Anywhere but here," I said back to him.

"Oh no you don't." The Hydra agents formed a wall in front of me, blocking my escape. Darn, I wish I was as good at escaping as the Taskmaster was! Is? Is he still around? What time is it here?! Stupid time traveling belt for dumping me in an unknown time…Well, unknown to me. I bet you guys know, and are so amused that I don't know that you're laughing at me right now! It's not working! I tell you it's not working! …okay, maybe just a little bit.

"Are you sure that's the wisest choice?" I asked the wall of men with my claws popped out. Heheh, they're shiny! The brave Hydra soldiers started quaking in their boots when they saw how pointy my claws were. At least, that's how my mind perceived it. The wall quickly gave way and fled down the hallway.

"Yeah, you better run," I said to the backs of the fleeing soldiers' heads.

"God, I'm surrounded by idiots," hissed Black Lab.

"Oh, so you have the same trait as your green-haired boss lady, huh? Calling your soldiers idiots, now that's just rude! Maybe I should teach you a lesson," I said, facing him once more.

"This isn't good." He turned and fled down the corridor, so I did what I felt like doing at the moment…I chased him down the hall at top running speed.

"No, it most certainly isn't," I taunted.

He ran through a series of corridors, so I followed him left and right and right and right and left and right and left, bobbing and weaving to avoid thrown projectiles coming from in front of me until I saw a sign that said 'Brainwashing Station'. Thinking quickly, I made a huge leap and tackled Black Lab to the ground. Getting up, I pulled him along with me by the collar of his shirt and dragged him towards the 'Brainwashing Station'. Seems apt, no?

He didn't go without a fight though, and punched me in the stomach several times, until he realized what I was doing. Then he promptly stopped and let me pull him into the 'Brainwashing Station' which, it turns out, is more of a room with showers than a station. I shoved Black Lab into one of the showers, and moved the little dial on the side to 'Erase Brainwashing Effects' (seriously, why include that setting if you're trying to create an army of loyal men? Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of a 'Brainwashing Station'?) and pressed the green button. Almost immediately sounds could be heard coming from the shower like; "Cold!", "Where am I?", and my personal favorite "Why am I taking a cold shower in my crime-fighting clothes that were really expensive and are dry-clean only?!" And he said he got them from a thrift store. Pfft.

After he was thoroughly Brainwash-free, he came out of the shower and looked me up and down. One of my eyebrows went up, and then I demanded he lead me to the exit so I could finally leave this boring Hydra base. I won't describe much, though, because it took us a long time to finally find the exit.

One delayed escape by a brainwash-free goth later…

"Ah, I love the smell of fresh air in the…what time is it?" I asked. We had finally made it outside, after I had set Black Lab free from the evils of Salad-head, and her minions with terrible acting skills. We were both running towards the nearest mountain, but for different reasons.

His: He didn't like me all that much, and was returning to his vehicle that was parked on the far side of the closest mountain.

Mine: Beyond the next mountain was a valley with a town within. Town means people. People means food. I need food. I'm hungry.

Black Lab looked at his bare, wet wrist and said, "It's a quarter past I don't have a watch. But, judging by the distance between the sun and the mountain peaks, I'd say it was about…3:14." He stopped running and stared at the sky. I stopped running too, and stood next to him.

"Wow, all I wanted was whether it was morning or evening, not the exact time," I lied. Of course I want to know the exact time, and the year would be nice too.

"Yeah, I know." He sighed, "Isn't nature lovely?"

"Um, yeah, it's really nice out today…" I trailed off. Black Lab was gone. I was alone on the mountainside, next to a semi-destroyed Hydra base.

Oh yeah! I forgot to mention that I had found a grenade launcher inside the base, along with all my other weapons and gear, and brought them along with me outside, where I promptly shot a grenade at the base. Then the base exploded! It was awesome; you really should've been there.

Well, off to go do stuff in the next chapter! Hopefully, it'll be cool stuff like hitting things and holding people hostage until I get a cheeseburger! I've always wanted to try a cheeseburger. They don't have them in the Very Dark Future, but my father talked about all types of things that weren't in that time period. So I'm pretty much squared away with pop-culture in (hopefully) this century. Screwy time traveling belt!


End file.
